The Times In Between

“Are you seeking God’s will? Are you truly seeking God’s will for your life? Friends, let me tell you one way you can check: How’s your prayer life?” That statement was so simple, but it hit me like a ton of bricks during last Sunday’s sermon.
 I am at an “in between” stage in my life right now. I have worked so hard to be the woman I am today, and for that I am very proud, yet… every once in a while frustrations come up that show us that we’re not quite where we ought to be.
There is one area in my life that I constantly struggle to submit to God, and that is the area of romance. I am a hopeless romantic with possibly the worst track record EVER! Honestly, I kind of obsess over it. Ha, the idea of a Prince Charming coming and sweeping me off of my feet becomes very alluring to a girl who is used to taking care of everyone else. And of course…I’m always in love. Always.
But what happens to a dream deferred? IT DRIVES YOU INSANE. I didn’t even know how to begin giving over all of my hopes and dreams over to God in this area. I had such a good plan: The perfect guy, perfect wedding, perfect in-laws. *sigh* Couldn’t God somehow work that all out? He seemed to be working it out for many of my friends! Isn’t life supposed to be like the movies? The smart, quirky, funny girl gets paired up with the bad boy hunk? Apparently not. I was depressed.
Then Sunday came along, after church I started praying and praying and praying that God would show me what to do. I had been praying over this issue all last semester, but this time I was serious. And what was my answer?
“Wait. I have heard your prayers. Keep praying. Pray for him. Not that you would have him, but that he would be who I called him to be. Just keep praying.”
“So…my answer is that I have to wait!? Didn’t God know how looong I had been waiting? Didn’t He care? Don’t I deserve to have what I want? I am a GOOD person?” <——That’s what was running through my head! How immature is that!? God has given me all of these blessings, which ignore so that i can focus on what I don’t have, He kindly and graciously answers my prayers and I get angry?
Being ungrateful is such a stressful way to live. I want to be happy, and therefore I must submit. Submit and pray. The times in between answered prayers are always the most stressful, but perhaps this waiting will produce in me what God truly deserves: A woman who is thankful for her blessings, and focuses on God’s will rather than her own.

Romans 12:12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.