Jonah 2:8

This verse popped up on my "Daily Bible Verse" feed the other day, and I have not been able to get it out of my mind ever since:

"Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs."

Jonah 2:8

How often am I guilty of clinging to worthless idols? I am ashamed to say that it is a daily battle for me. Thankfully, our God is a God of grace.

I once heard that as Christians (most of us spoiled Christians) we like to hold on to our blessings tightly, with closed fists. When God gives us something good, we want to keep it! This is a natural response, but not necessarily a healthy one. Sometimes we are only meant to hold onto things for a season and then let them go.

For example: if you know me at all you know that I have had the worst luck dating. It was my own fault. I was ignorant and selfish, and I am not afraid to admit that anymore. Time after time God took away the man who was causing me to self destruct, and time after time I would get dragged back down into the same empty pit.  It was a hollow life of building and clinging to false idols.

When I finally decided that I wanted a change, I wasn't entirely sure if God would even want me back, but He did! I decided to put dating on the shelf for a while and let God pursue me. I spent a glorious two years basking in His wonderful grace. He brought me some of the closest, Godliest, friends I have ever had. He repaired the damage I had done to my old friendships and family relationships. I got smarter, I developed talents, I became humble, I worked harder. I learned to live with open hands.

Now, I am blessed to have a wonderful boyfriend whom I am grateful for and amazed by every day. Now I feel like I can be a better girlfriend because I am not clinging to him like an idol, but rather cherishing him as a valued partner in grace. Now I can live with open hands because I know that God can and will get me through anything. Now I feel peace.

Journaling (Prayer and Personal)

I have been journaling for as long as I can remember. It has always been helpful to me, but this year I have identified two formats that I find most helpful.

First, I have my prayer journal. It is a great way to focus prayer and achieve greater intentionality in your quiet times. It is also an amazing way to see what all God has been up to in your life. He truly does answer prayers in a remarkable way!!!
 A middle school Sunday School teacher once shared this format for praying with me that I still use in my prayer journaling today. It is called ACTS:

A- Adoration. Start your prayer by praising God and giving Him the glory and respect He deserves.
C-Confess. Confess your sins and struggles to God.
T- Thanksgiving. Thank God for all of the blessings He has given you.
S- Supplication. Humbly ask God to supply for your needs and the needs of others.


Second, I have a personal journal which I like to use to work through things that are upsetting me. If you've ever wondered how I keep my calm, this is how.
I made this format up based on some handouts I used in my English methods class. Ha, Thanks Dr. BB for encouraging us to think about who we are as both a person AND a teacher! (She is the best!)
Situation: A brief summary of the situation that is causing you to be upset.
Know: What you know to be true about the situation.
Think: What you think about the situation.
Feel: How the situation has made you feel.
Resolution: What you are going to do about it!

Here is an example of my personal/situational journal for today:

Situation: I am nervous about taking the OSAT tomorrow.
Know: I know that even if I fail it the first time, I can take it again this summer.
Think: I think that I should not have to wake up so early to take this stupid test!!!
Feel: I feel nervous because I don't want to wake up at the break of dawn to take a super hard test! I am worried that I will not pass it and have to take it again.
Resolution: I will take my time studying today and go to bed early. I will be confident in my cognitive abilities and the superior instruction I have received.

Oh...so, that's why I wanted to be a teacher.

My poor mentor teacher was ill today and called in at the last minute, so guess who got to fill in? That's right, yours truly! It served as a much needed reminder of why I want to teach. The students were so wonderful and well-behaved (a remarkable thing for juniors and seniors). I got to spend a lot of one-on-one time with them working on their thesies and just talking about life and their futures. I was amazed how even the toughest kids opened up and shared their insecurities and anxieties with me, and was overjoyed to be able to help them. We laughed, we shared, and we got good work done...what could be better?!

3 Reasons Why You Should Encourage Someone TODAY!

1.) It is easy, but so effective.  A simple kind word may turn someone's day around. As a secretary I know how hard service jobs can be sometimes. When people tell me "Thanks for the help!" it makes a huge difference. Be sure to thank those who serve you: waiters, janitors, teachers...a little kindness goes a long way.

2.) It strengthens friendships. I feel truly blessed to have such encouraging friends. We are always telling each other "I love you!" and we really mean it.  It makes me feel confident and strong to know that my friends love me, and if I feel confident and strong, chances are I will be a better friend.

3.) You might not get the chance to tomorrow. Nobody knows what the future holds, but we do know that EVERYONE is experiencing some sort of hardship in their lives. Don't just assume that your friends are fine. Take the time to find out how you can better serve them.

 

"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear." - Ephesians 4:29 

"And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." -Hebrews 10:24-25

"But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin." -Hebrews 3:13

A Kiss is Not a Contract

Last week I overheard two girls talking about how whenever they were dating someone new the guy would make them feel, more or less, obligated to have sex with them. Even if it was only their FIRST date. I was shocked, but what was even more shocking was that they often went along with it even if they didn't really want to.

That, my friends, breaks my heart. What kind of a scum bag guy feels like it is okay to try and guilt someone into having sex with them? and what kind of a girl does not have enough self worth to stand up to him and let him know that this is not okay!? I fear that this sort of thing happens much more often than we think. It is probably why nearly half of the US female population ages 20-24 have a high risk form of HPV.

^^^ I got this from the CDC.gov website. Scary, huh?

I don't want this post to seem judgemental. Whatever you do is your business. I would just like to encourage my fellow ladies to stand up for yourselves and realize that you are worth more than your body. You deserve someone who is going to take care of your heart too. You are NOT obligated to do anything except be true to yourself. If this loser you are dating cannot see that, he is not worth you time.

If that did not get through to you...perhaps Brett and Jermaine say it best:

"A Kiss is Not a Contract"

Observations From a Proverbs 31 Woman

Hello friends! If you haven't already watched this video, you should! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WAFFMF4iZY

I loved it, but let me be the first to say: being a Proverbs 31 woman is very difficult.
Over the summer I led a Bible Study over Proverbs, and the last week we had a special Proverbs 31 party. It was fantastic! My little apartment was filled with some of the most beautiful, God-seeking women I have ever met!

One thing that did surprise me though, as I looked around at these holy faces, was that most of us were single. How did that happen?! I asked them what they thought and the only answer that we could come up with was that there is a serious lack of Godly guys out there. I would take it one step further and say that there is a serious lack of Christians willing to live their faith out there.

I have made my share of mistakes. I know how it feels to think that the only way to keep a guy's attention was to let him use you. As much as I regret what happened, I don't place the blame on any of them. I wanted attention...I was using them too. I even thought it was what I wanted, but I never ended up being happy. I didn't trust that God had something better planned for me.

Now it seems the more I seek to follow God and become the unique woman he has called me to be, the more society pushes me away and the less likely I am to find a guy willing to walk with me instead of in front of me or behind me. It is frustrating to know that you are working hard to be a Godly woman  and not see your brothers AND sisters working too. It is frustrating to see your sisters in despair that guys do not seem to value what they have to offer. It is frustrating to be insecure, and every day is a struggle. It is my prayer that my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ would build each other up so that together we can build God's kingdom.

An Overview of Eros (Part 1)

I have become known as the girl in Bible study that always wants to talk about sex. This is fine with me. I do not think that churches talk about sex enough. Certainly not in proportion to how much the Bible talks about it or in ways that are relevant! Well, I don't want my friends to ever think that a subject is too taboo to talk about with me, especially when it concerns spiritual matters. That's why I was so excited to get to teach the chapter concerning "Eros" in C.S. Lewis's book The Four Loves this week! Lewis has such a fresh, insightful, and romantic view of the matter. I think it should be mandatory reading! Here is the companion guide I made to go along with tonight's discussion:

______________________________________________

An Overview of Eros (Part 1)

-Eros is different than human sexuality. Sexuality only becomes a part of Eros when it is used as an expression of love.  What is involved in sex? What is involved in love?

-Sexual relations ships can occur with or without Eros.

-Eros, though very important, is a small part of marriage.

-Eros is not usually a precursor to desire.

-Eros wants the beloved more than the sex act.

-Eros makes the pursued not just someone, but THE one.

-Eros transforms a need-pleasure into the highest of all appreciative pleasures.

-Eros needs most intensely because it appreciates most intensely.

-Eros is not an act, it is a mode of perception. Discuss the quote: “Love you? I AM you.”

-Paul encourages his followers not to abstain from Eros for too long or else it can become a distraction rather than a virtue. See 1Corinthians 7:1-16

-Sensuality is not the destroyer of marriages but rather all of the other distracters that come up.

-Eros is laughter loving. It does not treat sex too seriously. What are some reasons why sex IS serious?

* Eros illustrated:

Sexual Desire	Need to Eat	Eros
Is discarded after the need is met.	Is discarded after the need is met.	Pursues the needs of the beloved.
If need is left unmet discomfort ensues.	If need is left unmet discomfort ensues.	Appreciates the beloved and is dismayed if the need is not returned.
Is natural/biological.	Is natural/biological.	Is natural with added emotional and spiritual components.
Can become a distracter.	Can become a distracter.	Is a point of view.



10 Ways to Feel Like a 10

Dear Gal Pals,

1. Mani-pedi: Give yourself one or splurge!

2. Floss your teeth: Ha Ha...It just make you feel so clean.

3. Work it on Out: I have the gym, but I LOVE "Just Dance"

4. DIY facial: first use a scrub (that apricot scrub is the bestttt!) Then use a mud pack (Montagne   Jeunesse Fruit Smoothie Masque is my favorite, and you can get 2 for $3 at Walgreens)

5. www.peopleofwalmart.com Sure, it's a little mean to laugh at these people, but your don't know them, and you are FOR SURE better looking.

6. Treat yourself to some new lipgloss for an instant ego boost.

7. If you haven't heard of this brand you are missing out! Low calorie chocolate for the win! www.skinnycow.com

8. Put on your cute girl panties. They look good on ya!

9. Live vicariously: Watch a movie where not just the 10s win (Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre, 27 Dresses)

10. GIRL TALK! You're friends love telling you how hot you are, your mom just tells you to stop wearing yoga pants.

-Emily

What I Learned From a Mini-Breakdown

Ever have one of those day where nothing goes right; you think that the universe is against you, and you just want to crawl up in a ball and eat a whole bad of puffy Cheetos? Well, the past few WEEKS have been like that for me. I suddenly looked around and saw my world imploding. Pretty soon there was nothing left for me to do but cry. Last night I cried A LOT. It was really pathetic and kind of gross, but it needed to happen. As I laid there sniffling I thought "This is good. I need to feel this. Really feel how upset I am and let it all out." I journaled, prayed, and asked others to pray for me too, then I went to sleep.

This morning when I woke up I decided that it was going to be my last day being depressed. I was going to throw myself a pity party. This involved a lot of journaling, Bath and Body products, British pop music, junk food and "Dirty Dancing" (which I may or may not have watched twice in one day). I cleaned the apartment, I beat my all my high scores on Just Dance, I read some Poe, and I organized all of my hair accessories. I feel better. Here's what I learned:

• It's okay to feel sad and crazy. Embrace it and then let it go.
• If you focus on the one way someone doesn't love you, you lose sight of all the wonderful ways they really do.
• Just because thing change doesn't mean that things are getting worse.
• It's okay to ask for help and to be vulnerable. Your true friends never judge.
• I can tell my best friends anything. I love them so much.
• People, in general, want to help. Sometimes you just have to let them know how they can.
• Turning off my phone and computer was like an instant retreat.
• I care too much what other people think about me.
• People say that I need to "play the game" if I want to get a man, but any man worth my time will be a rule-bender like me. I will never change who I am for anyone.
• People say that any man would be lucky to date me, that is absolutely true.
• PRAYER WORKS!

Be A Better Friend

Hey, you! Be a Better Friend

People who think that I am naturally a good friend are delusional. It is only through the grace of God, and a lot of prayer and patience that I am anywhere near consistent. It is in our nature to be self centered and to take advantage of those who are closest to us. The truth is, being a good friend takes work. A LOT of work, but isn’t it worth it? Don’t we all love that someone who is unfailingly loyal, consistent, and trustworthy? Why not be that person!? I guarantee you will be appreciated! Here are some steps to get you jump started:

• Think of an old friend you haven’t talked to in a while and send them a message. Sure, it might seem random, but there is a reason why you two were friends way-back-when…celebrate it!
• Think of a friend who is going through a rough time. What can you do to make their life easier? Don’t ask, just do it!
• Random gifts are so fun! Everyone loves getting them and giving them is super fun too! Your friend will appreciate the thoughtfulness.
• Have a party! The only thing better than having one of your friends around is having all of them around. Inter-mingle friend groups. Mutual friends are my fave new friends!
• Expand your horizons! Try something new with a friend, or go to a place you’ve never been before. Friends who discover together, stay together.
• Be proactive! Don’t wait for your friends to come to you, be an active part of their lives. Being involved shows how much you care.
• Diversify your friend group. Variety is the spice of life! The more friends the better, I always say! We all need different kinds of people in our lives at different times.
• And last but not least…spend some time ALONE! Find out who you are and stay true to it no matter what! No one wants to be friends with a flake or a fake! 

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival.
C. S. Lewis

Great Expectations

It’s not just the title of one of my favorite books of all time, it’s something I live every day. I have great expectations of people. However, I’m starting to think that these expectations have been more hurtful than helpful. People will always disappoint you. Always. I know this, but lately it seems like people don’t even try to be good friends to each other anymore. They get lazy. It makes me feel taken advantage of. I feel like I have to be clingy and persistent to get even the slightest response from my friends anymore! It’s so frustrating! I don’t want to be that kind of person, but I can’t help it. Does anyone ever feel like this? Does anyone ever think “well, crap…I’m kind of annoying!”? ha ha! It’s terrible. I try so hard to be a good friend, I’d do anything for anyone, but what’s the pay off?

Am I wrong to hold people to the standards I think consist of being a generally thoughtful person? Or am I just trying to get the attention I think I deserve? I hold myself to extremely high standards, maybe I just wish others should do the same…

“Oft expectation fails, and most oft where most it promises; and oft it hits where hope is coldest; and despair most sits”

William Shakespeare

Where Does God Fit Into Your Relationship?

Being a dedicated Christian is hard work. It t akes an almost moment by moment re-training of one’s thoughts to keep God truly #1 in our lives. We are naturally a self centered people, and it shows most in our relationships with others.

 If we are focused on ourselves and not on Christ we become a vacuum of resources. We cling to our friends and drain them of anything they can offer us that will benefit ourselves. Likewise if the other person in the relationship is focused on themselves they become a drain to you. You may spend time together, but it becomes strained and unpleasant. It can even cause an unhealthy closeness. If the two of you become extremely close you may start to rely on each other to fulfill your needs instead of God.
However, if each person makes the commitment to making God #1 how much more will that benefit the two of you together? You will be working toward a common goal and taking the steps necessary to grow your spiritual life which will in turn make you a better, more fulfilling person to be around. If you are relying on God to meet your needs you will be more blessed than you could ever imagine! What better gift could there be to offer your other half?
Here are two of the steps I am taking to commit my relationships to God:

-First, I will make my time with God top priority. I will maintain my personal Bible study and prayer journaling. I will actively seek and submit to God’s will for my life.
-Then,every time you think about the one you care about, pray for them! Chances are it will be a lot! Taking time out to pray for the person will benefit not only them, but help keep your thought life about them pure. It also shows that you are willing to submitt your plans and desires to God.

The Times In Between

“Are you seeking God’s will? Are you truly seeking God’s will for your life? Friends, let me tell you one way you can check: How’s your prayer life?” That statement was so simple, but it hit me like a ton of bricks during last Sunday’s sermon.
 I am at an “in between” stage in my life right now. I have worked so hard to be the woman I am today, and for that I am very proud, yet… every once in a while frustrations come up that show us that we’re not quite where we ought to be.
There is one area in my life that I constantly struggle to submit to God, and that is the area of romance. I am a hopeless romantic with possibly the worst track record EVER! Honestly, I kind of obsess over it. Ha, the idea of a Prince Charming coming and sweeping me off of my feet becomes very alluring to a girl who is used to taking care of everyone else. And of course…I’m always in love. Always.
But what happens to a dream deferred? IT DRIVES YOU INSANE. I didn’t even know how to begin giving over all of my hopes and dreams over to God in this area. I had such a good plan: The perfect guy, perfect wedding, perfect in-laws. *sigh* Couldn’t God somehow work that all out? He seemed to be working it out for many of my friends! Isn’t life supposed to be like the movies? The smart, quirky, funny girl gets paired up with the bad boy hunk? Apparently not. I was depressed.
Then Sunday came along, after church I started praying and praying and praying that God would show me what to do. I had been praying over this issue all last semester, but this time I was serious. And what was my answer?
“Wait. I have heard your prayers. Keep praying. Pray for him. Not that you would have him, but that he would be who I called him to be. Just keep praying.”
“So…my answer is that I have to wait!? Didn’t God know how looong I had been waiting? Didn’t He care? Don’t I deserve to have what I want? I am a GOOD person?” <——That’s what was running through my head! How immature is that!? God has given me all of these blessings, which ignore so that i can focus on what I don’t have, He kindly and graciously answers my prayers and I get angry?
Being ungrateful is such a stressful way to live. I want to be happy, and therefore I must submit. Submit and pray. The times in between answered prayers are always the most stressful, but perhaps this waiting will produce in me what God truly deserves: A woman who is thankful for her blessings, and focuses on God’s will rather than her own.

Romans 12:12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

My Love Language

I know I should be doing homework, but I just HAD to take this Love Languages Quiz. Here are my results: 10 Words of Affirmation; 9 Quality Time; 4 Receiving Gifts; 1 Acts of Service; 6 Physical Touch

Your Love Language

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Pretty interesting, huh? I think it really says a lot about me and why I choose certain people to be around me. The highest score you could get in a section is 12, so that helps give things some perspective.
I need a lot of affirmation, and enjoy spending meaningful time spent with those I care about (maybe even some snuggeling). It’s not as important to me if you buy my things or will go out of your way to do something for me…just be encouraging and supportive and let ME serve YOU!
It was also interesting to me to see that my two lowest scores are two of the greatest ways that I show love to others (I truly cherish gift giving and service to others). I guess opposites really do attract!
Take the quiz for yourself and let me know what you got!
 http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/

The Upside of Failure

“These kids have to learn that they can fail. The problem is, they have never been allowed to fail.” Dr. Hellack, one of the best teachers and leaders I have ever known, said that. She believes that by letting students fail at some things you allow them to succeed at others;  a philosophy that I whole heartedly agree with. Here are a few reasons why:

Being allowed to fail alleviates anxiety about the future. Haven’t we all heard those stories about a person who seems so perfect and successful on the outside but tragically takes their own life because of one big failure? If they only would have known that failure was an option. Not the best option, obviously, but something that could be accepted and recovered from.

Being allowed to fail teaches responsibility. I think many would agree that children are becoming incredibly spoiled these days. In schools problem children seem to be passed around. Rarely is a teacher willing to do the hard work of fixing the problem and they shouldn’t have to. Parents must be willing to set higher standards of behavior at home.  If a child misbehaves, there should be consequences.  A child needs to see that their actions have results in the real world. You are responsible for your life- failure is a part of life.

Being allowed to fail makes success greater.  This goes hand in hand with the point before. If you are taught that your actions have the power to generate failure, the other side of the coin is that they also have the power to generate success. This is a success you can own. It is yours and yours alone.

Finally, being allowed to fail closes doors. “When one door closes, another one opens,” but what if no doors ever close? It can be overwhelming. No one person can be good at everything, and no one person should expect them to be. If we coddle others into believing that they are good at everything they will strive for nothing. 

Do you agree? Disagree? I think I have been fearing failure for too long. Here are a few quotes that I find interesting:

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”
Winston Churchill

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
Winston Churchill

“My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure. “
Abraham Lincoln

“I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.”
Michael Jordan

 “Failure is a detour, not a dead-end street.”
Zig Ziglar

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”
Henry Ford

“There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.”
Colin Powell